God that's it. I had the best phone conversation with my mum and a direction. She was great, even though a bit too focused on her own knowledge, but I guessed that's what I do; it's always better to have something to relate to in order to understand new things better.
But now, it's late, I should be going to sleep, and that's when my mind is working at 100 miles/h!! I want some peace in my head. I don't wanna think about the little amount of work I managed to do today. I don't wanna think about the fact that there is no break day coming up. Just a succession of uni work days, uni days, o2 work days, and then in the remaining days, I will be having one or two sessions (thank god!!), have to share my time with lewis, and get those stupid high heel shoes for my sister's christmas present!..
God that's it. I'm crying because she's leaving and I was reminded about abandon today. And mum didn't like me mentioning the death of J and the subsequent possible decrease in the care and protection and attention I received as a child. That was hard, and I'm sure she made a surreal effort not to start an argument, because I think it hurt her. It was obviously not my intention, but maybe I should have chosen my example better, like dad leaving, like this it could not concern her, and even if she got ill, it's not like it was her fault and there is someone to blame. But with the death of J, if the care/protection/attention did actually decrease, then she would feel guilty, but then, this was not her fault either. What a stupid idea I had to say that!
God that's it, I am crying again, and still and my mind is like mush. I miss her already even though she hasn't left! I really need to do more work on that. She's so helpful and how can she remain what she is now if she lives so far away!? My back hurts, I feel like hiding into a little hole and waiting for the hurts to go... I shouldn't have talked about dad, it was a bad idea. I have to do something though, and it hurts, and it relates to abandon and her leaving and it isn't fair.
I want to be strong.
ma.vie.a.londres
When you're here, you just learn to enjoy every second of sunny sky and make the most of it. WELCOME.
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Jeudi 3 décembre 2009 à 3:19
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Par parlonspourneriendire le Jeudi 3 décembre 2009 à 17:08
Je ne vois pas de qui tu veux parler,parce que des belges,y'en a cinq milles,à ma connaissance,et la seule qui fait de jolis dessins,c'est sans queue ni tige,jessica.T'es sûre que je la connais?De toute façon,depuis trois ans,cow a bien changé ...
Par le Jeudi 3 décembre 2009 à 17:08
y'en a pas,pardon.
Par le Jeudi 3 décembre 2009 à 20:11
Lol.Je crois qu'elle vient de Grenoble,hein!
Et oui, c'est chiant,ça me fait ça aussi parfois.
Enfin bref.Moi,on fait aller,je suis en plein controles and co,là.
J'espère que toi,ça va.
Je lis de tes nouvelles en regardant sur facebook ;)
Bisous (f).
Et oui, c'est chiant,ça me fait ça aussi parfois.
Enfin bref.Moi,on fait aller,je suis en plein controles and co,là.
J'espère que toi,ça va.
Je lis de tes nouvelles en regardant sur facebook ;)
Bisous (f).
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