I am constantly really tired and have had three really big days. But I have also had four terrible nights in a row and my belly's been hurting for two days... I am not happy. People are having sex on TV and I should be seeing my boyfriend tomorrow, but am really NOT turned on. All I am thinking about is 'caring or not caring' and having sessions about it, as well as having only two weeks to write the 5,000 words for my dissertation literature review WOOPS!
I am not seeing very many people coming to read unimportant texts on this platform, and it somehow disappoints me; because I care even though I don't want to. When you start caring about something, you can be very very happy, but also so much more hurt when your high expectations simply aren't met. That's true of people, and that's true of dreams. That's probably why it's so hard to put everything - and I mean all of yourself - into what you want: the fear of caring, and the possibility of being disappointed, the fear of getting what you want and having nothing else to strive for (or too much else), and maybe the feeling that you might not deserve such a success... Read 'the alchemist' (paulo coehlo) and you will read a lot about the pursuit of a dream and philosophical ideas on that subject, it's extraordinary. That's probably why I live in ambiguity, so that I can be happy - half happy - and only half hurt. Try to understand and introspect yourself.
I am not seeing very many people coming to read unimportant texts on this platform, and it somehow disappoints me; because I care even though I don't want to. When you start caring about something, you can be very very happy, but also so much more hurt when your high expectations simply aren't met. That's true of people, and that's true of dreams. That's probably why it's so hard to put everything - and I mean all of yourself - into what you want: the fear of caring, and the possibility of being disappointed, the fear of getting what you want and having nothing else to strive for (or too much else), and maybe the feeling that you might not deserve such a success... Read 'the alchemist' (paulo coehlo) and you will read a lot about the pursuit of a dream and philosophical ideas on that subject, it's extraordinary. That's probably why I live in ambiguity, so that I can be happy - half happy - and only half hurt. Try to understand and introspect yourself.